A Good Old Complaint
Journal Entry: Thu Jul 3, 2008, 6:32 AM
- Mood:
Optimism - Listening to: Arctic Monkeys
- Reading: Whose Life Is It Anyway?
- Drinking: Coffee
"When you don't eat, your body feeds off its fat supply. Maybe if you don't feed for long enough your body will eat your arse."
Picture this:
You're walking down to Waitrose to get yourself a bite to eat, and it just so happens that the pathway you're on is rather slim. Now, you could cross the road but there aren't any traffic lights and the traffic is fatal. But why cross the road anyway? You're on the right side of the street. But the only problem is, you're not going to get to Waitrose any time soon because there is someone in an electric wheelchair in front of you.
Now, I am not prejudiced against the disabled but there is an incredibly thick line between disabled and lazy. Not even that, there is an even broader line between lazy and fucking obese. This guy, this woman, this THING, was clearly in a wheelchair because it was too fat and our wonderful, economic government had paid out for this lardarse to have a wheelchair - yes, a wheelchair. Because that'll help it to lose some fucking weight (?)
I know it doesn't effect me, but the thing is, when you are stuck behind something that takes up the whole pavement (half of it taken by the wheelchair, and the other taken up by excess body fat spilling out either side), closely resembling what a human digestive system with slow metabolism and a large deal of cholesterol would look like, you tend to get a bit pissed off. This creature had food dripping down its endless amount of chins, and running down its top. Its top that seemed endless as it was clearly custom made to fit XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL humans. But no amount of fabric could hide the belly that was draped over its knees, so thick that you'd have to slice a good few inches into it with a surgical scalpel before it stops leaking beef dripping and starts leaking actual blood.
The point I am making is, in the past three weeks I've seen at least eight people in this condition, and I live in Horsham - a relatively small town with no apparent obesity epidemic. I find it disgusting enough that people allow themselves to eat to the extent where they climb two steps of a staircase before collapsing and having a fucking heart attack. But what I find more disgusting is the NHS and the government and what not going:
"Aw, you're tubby. What a damned shame. What have you done to deserve this? Here, have a motorized wheelchair and treat yourself to a nice steak."
When really, what should be said is.
"You are one fat motherfucker, you should cut down on your pork pies and invest in a treadmill - that's if you don't break the treadmill, you fat fuck. You're never gonna get laid if you're chest, I mean MAN TITS, are blocking the view of you're own dick."
Maybe that'd knock some sense into them and they wouldn't have to be encouraged to be so lazy that they are immobile.
JESUS!
Another idea is to staple a helmet to an obese person's head with a fishing rod on the end. At the end of the rod would be a pork pie dangling just out of their reach. Then they'd spend the rest of their life plodding towards that pork pie that's just out of their grasp.
PS: After finally getting to Waitrose, I bought myself a nibble and physically couldn't eat it because that fat guy put me off. The knob. Don't get me wrong, meat on bones is perfectly fine, but then adding gravy, lard, chocolate and beef dripping to the meat is just taking it too far.
Not Impressed
Grumpy
I Have To Pee
