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All Deviations


Painstaking it may be,
to fuck with someone's head.

You never asked for this,
But the fight still happens.
And it's glorious.

Left-Right Hemispheres at constant war.
Your neurons are all mixed up.
Your port won't boost.

Rancid, dilapidated, over-used waste.
You're rusty at fifteen. God knows what you'll be like
when you're thirty.

If you had the testosterone, you'd bring a sledgehammer to that
Big ol' melon of yours and knock some fucking sense into it.
Or knock some out of it.

If god existed, there would be no such thing
As a conscience.

Let's kick the habit again, shall we?
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Submitted: May 17
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~the-grim-rita:iconthe-grim-rita: May 17, 2008, 2:49:36 AM
so cheery joshy
love the last line, painfully patronising. genius.
i always find with your poetry that it gets better as it goes along, the end is awesome but the beginning leaves me a little flat? happens to me too, once you're in the swing of the poem try going back to the beginning and changing stuff you're not sure on?
feel free to ignore, i useless :D
xxx

--
Cruising the river Stix
~punkerbunker:iconpunkerbunker: May 17, 2008, 2:53:42 AM
I appreciate your criticism :) But I don't get what ya mean by "a little flat." Explain, deary?
ly
xx

--
Here's the thing... I don't give a ten-penny fuck about your moral conundrum, you meat-headed shit-sack... That's pretty much the thing.

Check out my stuff.
~PaintWithMyBlood:iconPaintWithMyBlood: May 17, 2008, 7:18:37 AM
J'adore ca parce que.....i can't speak french...

You're such a little genius!!!

Your words flow so nicely [=

--
It's All A Little Bit Home Grown
~punkerbunker:iconpunkerbunker: May 19, 2008, 11:19:10 AM
Thanks. That means alot. :)
x

--
Here's the thing... I don't give a ten-penny fuck about your moral conundrum, you meat-headed shit-sack... That's pretty much the thing.

Check out my stuff.
~PaintWithMyBlood:iconPaintWithMyBlood: May 19, 2008, 12:13:08 PM
That's okay little jelly bean

Only the truth :p

--
It's All A Little Bit Home Grown
~punkerbunker:iconpunkerbunker: May 20, 2008, 12:31:39 PM
:)
Thanks again.

--
Here's the thing... I don't give a ten-penny fuck about your moral conundrum, you meat-headed shit-sack... That's pretty much the thing.

Check out my stuff.
~69tea:icon69tea: May 24, 2008, 12:15:18 AM
Nice one. I like the way it's short cos if it was longer i think it would take power off of it. Keep it up.

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Check out my stuff you dig?
[link]
~punkerbunker:iconpunkerbunker: May 24, 2008, 12:28:48 AM
Thanks babes.

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Here's the thing... I don't give a ten-penny fuck about your moral conundrum, you meat-headed shit-sack... That's pretty much the thing.

Check out my stuff.
~69tea:icon69tea: May 24, 2008, 1:04:22 AM
No problem.

--
Check out my stuff you dig?
[link]